Most of you know that I struggle every day at work. I am still unsure why they hired me as there isn't work there to keep me busy.
I have put out some resumes and hopefully something comes of one of them. I am pretty sure at this point I will be there until after the first of the year as there isn't much out there right now.
I can only ask so many times in one day for work to do. The worst part is that I have to just sit there. I am not allowed online, I cannot read a book, I cannot text, I cannot make phone calls. I just have to sit there. This week they started working on an addition to the building. They are working right outside of my window so at least I have something to watch right now.
The thing I struggle with most is one of the guys in the office. There is a long story here, but basically he has to have someone to boss around and pick on and it just happens to be me. I can go into the whole reasons I think he is like this, but we'll save that for another time. My problem is I absolutely can not stand not liking someone. I always try to find the good in people. I just can't find anything good about him and it breaks my heart that I feel this way.
I find myself mumbling about him to myself when I see him. Making silly faces when he isn't looking and just feeling so mean towards him. I know this is so childish, but I just can't stop myself. He has done somethings that have really hurt me and currently this is how I am feeling.
He is one of those "Sandpaper" people in my life. Perhaps God has put me in this situation to learn to deal with this type of behavior. If this is the case, I might be employed here for a long time if I don't figure out how to forgive him and move on.
I am not one to hold a grudge, but I just can't seem to let go of some of the things he has said and done. You know that saying "Fool me once - shame on you, Fool me twice - shame on me"? He has blindsided me twice now with lies and accusations and I just don't know how to let go and let God this time.
How do you let go of something when you are so hurt but you know you need to move past it? Do you have a suggestion that I can try?